This episode is brought to you by Paris Gourmet, delivering specialty foods and ingredients right to your restaurant, bakery, and bar. Learn more at ParisGourmet.com. This week on Meet and Three, we're bringing you four stories about lost and found culinary treasures. We are searching for what will be lost, and we're trying to rejuvenate it. What we try to do is collect these sourdoughs that contribute to the biodiversity of sourdough in order to store them, to document them, and be able to preserve them for the future.
It's bringing back the history and just being part of that time that just it's there's nothing like it. When fame comes late, uh I'm sure it's just as sweet as when it comes earlier. Tune in to this week's episode of Meet and Three. That's M-E-A-T plus sign T-H-R-E-E. Available wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hello and welcome to Cooking Issues. This is Dave Arnold, your host of Cooking Issues coming to you live on the Heritage Radio Network every Tuesday from Hey, whatever I'm not even gonna say when I'm coming to you anymore. Remember this pizzeria and Bushwig Brooklyn! Not joined with Nastasi the Hammer Lopez because she's on a plane from Me Me Me Me St. Bart's, which is a place I don't want to go because uh I hate paradise.
I re- Actually, I would like to go there. I'm sure they have delicious fruit and seafood. Meh meh meh. Alright, Nastasia, I know you're gonna listen to this. I didn't get a chance to tell Dave to not say where you were.
She specifically told me don't say where I am. It's it's uh I can't use the word that she used, but what? She's gonna be mad at me. It doesn't matter. Well, what you didn't tell me.
I know. Why didn't she tell me? That's a good question. Because she's on vacation and doesn't want to text anybody. She's not on vacation.
She doesn't want to talk about it. That I know. It's not a anyways, she's on an airplane. She will be back next week when we have as our special guest, uh Seth Godin. Uh he's gonna be talking about uh his books, his blog, everything else.
The marketing guy? Yeah. Dope. Yeah, it's gonna be good. He actually used Nastasia uh and I uh and me in a um in one of his posts, which was uh very uh very flattering.
That's very cool. I used to read him a lot. Really? Apparently Wait, it's a it's a marketing guy, and he was talking about you? Well, so he has this he has this like kind of you have several books on in theory of like tribes, and he says that you, cooking issues crew, we together form like a tribal stream.
I think you're more of a cult. I hope not. Oh my god. Oh my god. By the way, we've discussed this on the air.
Remember, it is not the the cults don't actually drink Kool-Aid, they drink flavor aid. Flavor aid. We've had this discussion on the air before, but it's flavor aid. The Kool-Aid is, you know, from the on the bus with the acid, the electric Kool-Aid Acid test. The cult drinking the Kool-Aid in a cult way.
And by the way, like, how is it that I I'm not gonna get into it because we've matt Matt in the booth, how you doing? I'm doing great. We've we had this discussion like several weeks ago, right? Yeah, no, and it's a huge PR win for Kool-Aid, I think. We didn't kill the people.
It was flavored. Flavor aid people. They're the worst. And they were a knockoff to begin with, the weasels. Nobody remembers Play Rade now, though.
So I know, but like, first of all, like, how cheap, how cheap are those guys at Jonestown? It's like, it's not like you're gonna need money after this. Just get the good get the good punch. That's so wrong. That's that's Jack Shram.
I was told last week when he came on that I did wasn't enthusiastic enough, so hopefully that wasn't enthusiastic. He's the uh he's the head bartender of uh existing conditions. And we should have if Nastasi is the hammer, you should uh maybe what tool would you be? Some sort of knife. I know that makes me the nail.
I was like, Jack, the nail shram. Right? Like that? Yeah. Yeah.
All right. And we we uh I don't know, I don't know why she's here, but our other special guest in the studio today is Kat from the Heritage Radio Network, who uh you're also the host of which you're like, what do you like? What is everything you do for the Heritage Radio Network? Everything I do. I am the communications director, that's what I spend most of my time doing.
I also're Sarah Huckabee Sanders of Heritage Radio Network. Why would you say that about me? Kat Huckassams. Oh boy. Non-political show.
I take it back. We're not talking about it. Um I also co-host Meet and Three, which is the trailer you hear at the beginning of the show. Now, do you spell that with an A or with an E? With an A.
Meet and Three, as in the Southern Meet and Three sides uh meal that you would get at like a country restaurant. Yeah, yeah. Um, and that's the format of the show. We have one meet story that's like longer and three. All right, near Georgia.
Okay. Um, and then I also co-host HR and Happy Hour, which you guys should come be on sometime. Um it's on Thursdays at 5 p.m. And we we're opening a bar right then. Well, I know, but you know.
If someone will write you a tardy slip, you can come hang out. I got an idea. Why don't you record it once from existing conditions and we'll serve you drinks? We would love to do that. Let's do that.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about later. Can we do it on a non Thursday day? What about a Friday earlier in the afternoon? That sounds great. Love it.
Boom. That's a little tease coming up. We're gonna do summer Fridays happy hour. But so Kat, what do you uh what do you hear? Oh, by the way, call in your actually wait.
Your by the way is perfectly timed. We have a person on the air. Uh hello, person. You're on the air. Hello, sorry, the uh text was a little bit patchy.
Um, has the question about uh fermenting sausages and sous vide been definitively answered? Because I have my own experiences to report on that. Uh has it been definitively answered? So in general, right? I mean, look, I don't I don't know.
Like give me the particular question. I don't know whether I uh answered. I'm always kind of loath to talk about. I'm always kind of loath to talk about um things that are relative to um relative to safety, but assuming that you have I mean you're trying to get a pH drop relatively quickly, so it should work in a sous vide thing. It's just a question of whether or not it's possible to have uh crap growing it in the meantime, right?
Which presumably why you have salt and uh nitrites there as well. Um what were you gonna say? Yeah, so I I've done it a number of times now with what I would deem to be successful results uh in terms of flavor and and not getting sick. That's just something I wanted to report out. Uh specifically, I was making summer sausage using the uh Safe Pro FLC culture.
Right. And uh once they were cased up in their fibrous casings and then uh vac bags and then put in uh sous vide bath, I use 90 degrees for about thirty to thirty six hours. Uh there's no ill effects to report. So it's it seems like an alternative that would work, but I I would give that same disclaimer as well. Yeah, I mean health related dishes.
I would love to get uh you know Johnny Hunter uh on, because the reason I pick him is because uh, you know, I know he went through a whole Kickstarter thing um on getting his Hasset stuff done, so he might have some more um to weigh in on on this on the technical side. Um but I mean look it. The it let's say you're doing the standard, let's say you're let's say you're a standard person, like you know, like any of us, right? You're you're packing the sausages into uh into casings, they can be relatively large, right? And then you're doing it traditionally, you're hanging it in a hot, moist box, you know, uh, you know, for however long it takes to get the pH drop you need with the culture you have, right?
I mean, that's what we're doing. So it in reality, in the real life, right, the interior of that sausage is you know pretty quickly goes into an anaerobic uh condition and therefore should be growing uh botulism, right? I mean, if it was gonna grow at all, it should be growing, right? I mean, that's the theory. That's why botulism is called botulism after the Latin word for whatever thing it's like saw.
You're a food history guy, Jack. Sausage, right? Botulism isn't it? Someone look it up, the Latin for sausage. Anyways, point being that uh the only difference here is that you're immediately putting the entire thing in an anaerobic environment, including the outside.
But it's not like the air, uh, it's not like the air is getting to the inside of that freaking sausage during the time that the pH is going down. So in general, if the interior of the sausage is going to be safe, I would say the exterior of the safe uh sausage is probably safe um inside of a a bag, with the caveat that I wouldn't put it in a hard vacuum. Farm meat, the Latin is farcim farciminians stuff. If you keep going, botuless casing sausage. Oh, botchels casing uh come on, Jack.
Whoa, listen, don't blame me, blame Google. Blame NYU. That's who that's who educated Jesus. Nobody looks beyond the first result. Yeah, what amazed me was that once I cut them up in the packages after the fermentation period, they remained tight and there was no like even hint of any bad smell, at least to me.
Right. Well, I mean, it's really delicious and got better when it was smoked. Uh I mean, it should be look, theoretically, in my mind, it's kind of an ideal environment, right? Because you're not letting other stuff go on it and you can control the temperature extremely accurately, and you're not getting any dry down at all. You don't have to worry about uh the relative humidity or any of that.
To me, mentally, it's ideal. It's just I hesitate to say, without having someone done the the hassip work on it, to say that you're totes hundreds safe on it. You know what I mean? Fair enough. Yeah, but mentally it's a great idea.
I mean, look at it this way also is uh, you know, when we make sauerkraut, right? We salt the we salt the the the you know the beje I do anyway, because I like salt. Salt the bejesus out of the product, and you put it in a vac bag and it starts going with uh it's lactic acid, uh, you know, Megillocutty there, and it just it turns into delicious stuff, and I never worry about it even even once. Not even once. You know what I mean?
So the salt and you're talking about for the sauerkraut, I'll just usually go for a two percent by weight and then fill in with two percent brine as necessary if there's a little too much air space. Yeah, because well, what level of salt do you prefer? I'm just curious. I I I gotta be honest, and this is just proves what kind of a uh of a uh a jerk I am. I literally just I should measure it someday.
I literally just toss and taste. I'm like really bad guy. You know what I mean? It's like, but because I have kind of a salt because I am a salty man and I have a salty palate, uh, I'm never ever in danger of under salting it. You know what I mean?
Um I know a lot of people are trying to push the edge. I've heard like uh 2% by weight, and I like the idea of adding brine. I think that's a mistake people make. They don't kind of add in um a little bit of brine, and it's always good. And if let's let's say you let's say you've never made sauerkraut before, right?
Uh I think a good idea is to um buy some commercially made unpasteurized, untreated sauerkraut. By the way, if any if anyone, I doubt anyone is, but if anyone is listening to this who has never had real unpasteurized, like still alive fermented sauerkraut, wow, you shouldn't do anything else other than go get that stuff right now. I mean it's so good. If you if you've just had the sterilized pasteurized sauerkraut that you get in the average supermarket that comes in a in a polyethylene bag, and you're like, I don't like sauerkraut. Well you don't like baseball game hot dog sauerkraut, which is right.
That also makes you a bad person because delicious, just different. Well, it's not actually delicious. It's fine on a hot dog. It's a great condiment. It's not.
Have you ever eaten it by itself? Have you ever just sat down and tried to take down a whole bowl of Sabret pasteurized sauerkraut? Have you ever eaten a bowl of yellow mustard? Yes. I'm talking to the wrong person.
Yes, you are, Jack. I used to remember. I'm on your team, Jack. Don't forget, I used to take bets, food bets. One of which was I've taken down, I've taken down uh dining hall size things of yellow mustard.
I've taken down uh well, no, they're not they're not that fancy. Yellow. Just yellow. Yellow. Yellow brand mustard.
And I have to say something about this, Zenf, which is mustard auf Deutsch, Zenf Snobs. I like it. I love yellow mustard. There's I'm just saying. I think it's I actually believe it's a good product.
I uh so do I. I also believe that yeah. I like a spicy brown mustard. I like all mustards. I do not, I I'm gonna I hate to say this because you know maybe I don't know, they're never gonna hand me money anyway, it doesn't matter.
But I do not like the standard mass per produced Dijon mustard. I've said it on the air a million times. On behalf of HRN, if any Dijon mustard brands want to give us money, I'll we love you. I love that problem. We love it.
We can change Dave's mind. Yeah, we hate white wine, we'll dub over to that. I don't hate white wine. Um it's just I've never had one that I didn't think was, and this is one of Jack's favorite words, kind of acrid. Like, I just don't like, especially the one that's got the gray poop on it.
Yeah. I don't I don't like it. I don't like it. I love the commercials. I love the I love the Rolls-Royce's.
You know, I like poking fun at rich folk, but uh, you know, I just it's not my thing. What about honey mustard? Honey mustard's a product. I think it's look, it's it exists. I got you there.
It is a product. Whoa. Whoa. Okay, let's say, let's I'm gonna go back to my 1970s roots. If you're gonna buy an incredibly substandard standard, and I hate to even use this word here, brie, right?
Yeah. Right. Right. Listen, because the stuff that we call brie here in the United States, taint brie. Taint brie it's trash cheese.
However, it doesn't taste bad. No, got it. It's a good texture and it's kind of a neutral substrate. Yeah, it's like uh ballpark sauerkraut. No, it's not because ball pri sauerkraut tastes flawed because of the preservatives in it.
It's flawed. It tastes flawed. Regular garbage brie is like the closest thing to a neutral unit of cheese that you can get. Like more neutral than like it's like on the Colby level of neutral. It's like the brick.
It's like cream cheese almost. The brick in the La Bernadette. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The palate neutral. Yeah, the palate neutral piece of Swiss, craft swiss, but it's not texturally neutral, right?
Like cream cheese. So brie so in other words, it it actually is good to put um has it do on Croot and bake that sucker with like and that cat is the application for honey mustard is a 70s baked brie. Love it. Also in pastry, like if you bake brie in a pastry, I like that. Yeah, you said on crew.
Yeah. Oh. I'm not that fancy. Come on, come on, come on. We have a different caller who's uh been waiting for like five months.
All right, geez, jeez, geez, mustards. All right, caller, you're on the air. What's up? Hey, what's up, babe? Hey everybody.
Congratulations on Matt on being the first one on time today. Oh, snap! Snap. He's already here. Is he?
Yeah, he's already here. I showed up at 10 today. Yeah, I imagine. So there's I have two questions, Dave. Um the first one is about um low temping steaks.
I have uh two inch New York strip steak. Okay. And I was wondering how long to cook them for and the temperature. And then the second question would be how to sear them in a pan with the mayonnaise. Oh.
So see, I I actually you know what? That'd probably be good. I like uh uh cat's giving me a look. Putting mayonnaise on everything before you sear it. Delicious.
So I'm I'm a fan of that. Yeah. But which mayonnaise? Dukes. Oh, come on, man.
I have a thing of Dukes in my in my. I've never had Duke's. It's the best. I have a container of it in my house that is as yet unopened because it's very good. Because FIFO.
Because FIFO. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna answer this. I'm gonna answer your question. I'm I'm gonna answer your question, but wait, how what did Kanye say on stage?
I'm gonna give you your time. I'll let you finish. Yeah, yeah, I gotta give you your time. Anyway, but wait a minute, but like, what is it about Dukes that's so freaking tasty? It's got a tangy zip.
So does Miracle Whip, it's not even mayonnaise. Yeah, I know. No, it's it's just like it's fatty with the tangy zip. It's like the perfect battle. Of course it's fatty.
It's mayonnaise. But you're saying Miracle Whip, which does is not and doesn't make it a big whip is fatty. It just doesn't have eggs. It exists in like on the spectrum, in between your classic Hellman's and QP. It's not full QP.
So you're saying it's sugar. You're saying they put sugar in it. It's southern. Cupie is good because they put sugar in it. Let's just be honest.
Let's call a cupie a coopie. They coupie is good on account of the sugar. Also it's amazing. Also, you know, you want to hear another thing why I'm a garbage person? I love I love to buy pre-flavored mayonnaise.
Here's some pre pre-flavored mayonnaise I like. I like sriracha mayonnaise. Hey. You purchased that? You know why?
Sorry, family show. You can say that here. It's fine. And also here's I I got such a hate down on this from Wiley and Dave Chang. I like Wasabi mayonnaise.
I'm gonna go ahead and say it. That stuff tastes good on French fries. Anyway, now back to the question. Wasabi, look, it tastes good, but just like Dave Chang almost punched me in the face when I told him this. I like, and you ready for this?
And this anyone who's like, anyone who's like Jack Age and younger will not care about this. But anyone like my age, within within six years of my age, hates this idea on a number of on a number of fronts, but not on taste. Wasabi mashed potatoes taste good. Was that did that have like a cultural moment? That's never crossed my mind.
No, it was like it was culturally hated by all the chefs. Huh. Okay. I literally almost got it. Was it like a thing in restaurants?
He had to stop himself from punching me. The good old days. Yeah. Anyway, um, what kind of restaurants was this? You also remember back in the day, Wiley and Dave Chang, we used to get in like, I wouldn't say knock down, drag out fights because they never knocked me down and dragged me out of the room, but they wanted to on tongs because both of them are very anti-tong.
Very anti-tongue. We can talk about this later. Let's talk about steaks now. So two-inch strip steaks. Two inch is a good call because you're not gonna overcook the inside.
Now, I like strip, but strip is problematic on this note. If you pre-salt strip, it gets kind of real, it gets real firm if you're gonna do a cook chill. I'm currently running, I'm currently running the tests on whether or not uh on whether or not it's the chilling in salt that makes it after you cook it, the chilling and salt that makes it firm up. Whereas if you just never chill it and you add the salt, it's gonna firm up. But I know if you cook it, then chill it with salt over a long period of time, it's gonna firm up.
If you're gonna serve the steak within, I'd say four hours or so of the minute you throw it into the bath, four or five hours when you throw it into the bath, then you can go ahead and salt it beforehand because it's not gonna have time to cure through. I would take your steak, and you can pre-sear it or not. The issue on pre-searing is it does help develop a faster crust after you you do it. It's not strictly speaking necessary, it does add another step. Um in my tests, as long as you don't uh overcook it after afterwards, uh pre-searing is uh good, right?
So the way that other people do it who don't pre-sear is they just sear it longer afterwards. So all the people who say, I'm looking at all you idiots, you know who you are, who are like pre-searing beforehand, it doesn't make any difference. Well, it's because you're not paying freaking attention. It takes longer to sear something afterwards if you haven't pre-seared it. And if you sear it for a long time afterwards, you're in danger of ruining all the good work you've done with low temperature.
You're not 100% gonna do it, but it just makes it more likely. Anyways, so that said, I don't always pre-sear because I am, and we all know this, intensely lazy. Okay, so uh you have a two-inch thick steak, which again is a good uh a good call. What I would do is I'd put it in the bag uh with oil, and you know, I I don't really worry anymore about the oil I'm using unless I'm going to take said uh liquid and make it into garlic bread later, in which case I exclusively use butter. But if you are, you know, but the I don't think that the butter necessarily makes the steak that much better, but the butter becomes good.
You know what I'm saying? If you're gonna put the if you're gonna put the butter on bread. Anyways, so then uh you get it in there with enough oil such that you can do or butter or whatever, so you can do the Ziploc. I also always, and I know Faron Adria is like, you know, everyone needs salt, but pepper's a spice, you idiots. Don't put pepper on the table.
Well, with steak, steak and pepper, they'd be friends. Delicious. They're super friends. So I pepper the hell out of them. I'm just to let you know what I do.
Any other notes I have. If it's dry aged, I would cut off the outer layer of fat and the bone. If if you want the entire thing to taste kind of stinky, stinky, stinky, like on the bone dry age, like my man Jack here does. Yeah. Then leave it in.
Otherwise, dry flavor tends to permeate. Dry age flavor tends to permeate the rest of the of the stiznake while you're cooking. So I would I would trim away some of the more dry agey parts if you got some squeamishy people in the in this in the sitch, right? You with me? All right.
So you have that you have the thing, and remember, remember, here's another thing people make the mistake. Make sure that all of your steaks are only one layer thick, right? So like if you're putting things in bags and then the bags are stacked on top of each other and water can't get through them, they might as well be one piece of meat, right? So you it and it will take forever. Because remember, as you increase the thickness of your product by a factor of two, you increase the cooking time by a factor of four, right?
So you go by you go, it goes by the square. It goes by the square of the distance. So already at two inches, you're at a relatively thick. So now I know it's taking me a long time. So put the steak into your bath, right?
You know, make sure the sucker's sealed. You don't want water to get in because then you're gonna you're gonna be crying bitter tears. But uh I would do it at somewhere between 55 Celsius and 55.2 or three Celsius, like in that range, right? And I would I would put I would leave it there for uh I would leave it there for at least an hour and a half, all right? At least an hour and a half, right?
Now, here's where you're gonna skirt the line. Now I would drop it. I would drop the bath to depending on how much, depending on how much you like to skirt the the the laws of of uh bacteria, right? Between 52 and 53 degrees Celsius, I do 52, right? And then let her ride for like again, depends on how squeamish you are, but like you could do up to four hours.
And you could do even longer. But like a little bit, and that's gonna, that's your tenderization phase. If you keep that steak at 55, so 55 is a nice number for that steak, but if you keep it at 55 for a long, long, long time, here's here's the thing. That the the meat will start to firm up more. So it won't happen over, it won't happen instantly, but gradually it's gonna get firmer and firmer at 55, right?
So what you really want to do in the real life, and this is the same way with eggs, when you cook an egg, right, you get it up to the temperature you want, and then you pull it back by a degree or two so that it doesn't keep traveling up a little bit. So like 50, if you keep it at 55 and you run it for six hours, it's gonna feel it's gonna feel texture-wise closer to a 56 or 57. So what you want to do is bring her up to 55, drop her back to 50, 52, 53, and then you can ride it for a long time to get the texture where you want it, depending on the particular texture and the grade of the steak that you have, right? But like four or five hours, nice, right? A little bit longer.
Then, then, uh, before I sear it, now 52 might be fine for where you are, but even like a couple of minutes a little bit at 50, or pulling it out a little bit and letting it rest a little bit so that when you sear it, you're not taking the inside. But thankfully, since you have a two-inch steak, it's not gonna travel that much up in the interior, especially if you've had a good long soak at like 52, 53. You're gonna have a little bit of a wiggle room on a two-inch steak to sear it up. And I would do slather that sucker, put it on the hottest thing you own. What's the hottest thing you own?
Do you own like do you own the sun? Because if you own the sun, you gotta put it on the surface of the sun, get a nice crisp surface on it, and uh you're you're better off doing a um you're better off doing like a series of two intensely hot sears than you like like waa off like that to get the sear that you want on it, because that's gonna produce a better crust than sitting there with a punier, uh a punier heat source and having it uh take a lot longer, just sayings. Yeah, gotcha. I uh I'll do a Kazirin. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, you're good. This episode is brought to you by Paris Gourmet, a leading specialty food importer and distributor, servicing the New York Tri-State area and beyond, from coast to coast. I'm Jordan Werner Berry, the host of Modernist Breadcrumbs here on HRN. When it comes to freshly baked artisan bread, it's key to pair it with butter that's made with the same amount of care and attention. And you don't have to go all the way to France to find truly amazing butter.
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Are you enjoying this podcast? Heritage Radio Network has plenty more. My name is Andrew Friedman, and I'm the host of Andrew Talks to Chefs here on HRN. Every week I interview a diverse cross-section of the best and biggest names in professional cooking. Give a listen and get to know all about the inner lives of chefs.
You can find Andrew Talks to Chefs wherever you listen to podcasts and on Heritage Radio Network.org. And I think it was the New York Times published someone like this published an article recently. Someone did, I think it was maybe my wife Jen, who you know, she's she's hip to this because she's an architect. Uh but I think she sent me the uh like the article, but they're doing now a bunch of research on indoor volatiles in Western standard kitchens, cooking things like Thanksgiving. And guess what, folks?
Taint pretty. Taint pretty. Like uh, but that said, who knows what the who knows what like you know, um so basically they're saying, look, they they have an analyzer, a particle size analyzer. So they're analyzing the size of like the smoke, fume, grease, and other particles that we're making in the kitchen, and then they're likening it to other small particles that they think are harmful like the crap that comes out of your exhaust pipe or like if you was a smoker and they're trying to like figure it out but no one I think has because how the heck are you gonna I don't think anyone's asked people with um uh lung cancer so you use cook a lot how many steaks you cook per week per in your kitchen yeah yeah yeah and you know funny to say it but you know professional kitchens by and large when you go into a professional kitchen they're more neutral smelling than they should be considering how much and it's because we have good hoods great hoods you know what I mean why don't apartments in New York have ventilation like there aren't any laws it's awful there are no laws like there's no one that says you have to have good ventilation there's laws that say that you have to have a certain amount of like quote unquote light right so your window can back up on somebody else but every room's got a window yeah every room's got a a minimum size you know uh you have to have a certain number of exits so that you don't burn up you know you need to have your the smoke detectors but nobody cares and uh maybe it's because nobody cooks anymore maybe it's because nobody cooks anymore and like you know that that thing with the grates is where you keep your plates you know what I mean that's the oven people but like uh you know ventilation is so crappy it's so crappy and I know for a fact when they're building buildings no one's thinking I wonder how I'm gonna extract all of this uh just here kitchen smell you know what I mean yeah or smoke back in the old days back in the old days like when you know rich folk lived in big apartments and other people cooked for them, the kitchens were far away because no one wanted to be exposed to the smell. We all want to be exposed to the smell now because it smells good.
Smells great. Smells good. But on the other hand, like how many of you out there cook on the regular and notice that all the surfaces of your kitchen are coated in filth? Yup. Yeah, yeah.
And you know what? Like, I think if anyone out there knows like a good defiler, because I don't want to get up on the ceiling with a scrubby and get the polymerized, you know, grease off of the see. It's hard enough to get the polymerized grease off of my pants, which I hang on the ceiling because I feel if a pan is in uh uh a cupboard underneath another pan, I'm just gonna leave. Like, like if you can't reach for it. Yeah, here's another rule.
Here if you can't pick it up without undoing, if it takes you five minutes to get your pan, you're not gonna use it on the regular. Right? Here's another thing. If you I've said this a million times, I'll say it one more time. I'll say it, I want you guys to listen because people still make this mistake.
Please listen. If you wrap a piece of food in aluminum foil, unless you're cooking it right now in aluminum foil, throw it away. As soon as a piece of food is wrapped in aluminum foil and put back in the fridge, it's garbage. In my house anyway, because I can't see it anymore. I don't know what the hell it is.
Throw it away. You know what I mean? Like, just throw it away, you know? And if you put something in a package in the freezer and it's not clearly labeled, please save yourself the trouble. Throw it away.
This way, when someone shows up with an ice cream cake, you won't have to then rummage through your freezer, find all the stuff that you're like, I don't know what this is or what it's from, and then throw it away. Just throw it away now. Just admit to yourself that it's garbage and throw it away. You know what I'm saying? I hate seeing things wrapped in aluminum foil in my fridge.
Right? And I'm I'm not saying that plastic, I'm not saying we should all use polyethylene and in, you know, until we've, you know, sucked the last like liquefied dinosaur out of the ground. But, right? Like, there is an advantage to being able to see the crap in your fridge. Yeah, I just want to exist in your universe where people just show up with ice cream cakes.
It happens, it happens so much. Fudge the whale? No, listen, listen. Oh, I wish. Oh my god.
Oh my god, Tom Carvel, I love you so much. Uh anyway, I mean, maybe he was a bad man, I don't know. Like, you know, I I'm kind of glad that we don't know a lot about some of our childhood heroes, that there was no social media. For all I know, Tom, Tom Carvel, but for those of you that don't live in in the Northeast, didn't grow up here, Tom Carvel was the owner and person who came up with Carvel ice cream. Carvel ice cream is fantastic.
If you don't like Carvel ice cream, you're wrong. Like it's just delicious. Uh and I can say that because I grew up eating it. Like, is it the is it the highest quality? Is it like, you know, my man Morgenstein was certain who's here for?
No, no, no, it's not. It's not. But delicious. Uh and people also make the error, error mistake of believing that just because something is soft serve, that it is a high overrun product. People get straight the difference between the textural effects of temperature and the textural effects of of pumping a crap ton of air into your ice cream because they are different.
You can tell when you hold. Now, they might have changed it since I was a kid. It's been a long time since I've had Carvel. But it used to be when someone handed you a cup of Carvel ice cream, or if you picked up Fudgy the Whale or a Carvel ice cream cake, you were like, dang, that's hefty. That is a hefty, that's a hefty hunk of ice cream.
Where uh have any of you out there ever run a soft serve machine? Have you? Have you guys ever worked at a milk bar? You wrote a milk bar. So here's a little secret for you.
So what happens is that in the average soft serve machine, there's a cylinder and there's a pump. And that there's a little, like it's a little kind of plastic pumping, it goes and it pumps the, you know what I'm talking about, Jack. Yeah. It pumps the ice cream base, pre-chilled ice cream base into the freezing cylinder, right? Now, the manufacturer has an orifice on that.
And it's with this orifice that they choose how much air they pump into the cylinder at the same time they're pumping the base in. And so unscrupulous ice cream truck owners or soft serve machine owners can swap out the orifice to increase the overrun. Overrun, by the way, overrun is the is the technical term for how much air you're putting into an ice cream base. So 100% overrun doesn't mean that 100% of the ice cream is air. It means that if you had a hundred grams of ice cream base, you will add a sorry, a hundred milliliters of ice cream base, you will add a hundred milliliters of air to that ice cream base.
So you're doubling the volume. So an ice cream with 100% overrun is double the volume of its base. Alright. So they can do like they can do like buck 15, buck 20. So like some of these unscrupulous scrupulous operators will put in an orifice in their soft serve machines to jack the air into the cylinder.
And if you walk up to one of these people and you get an ice cream cone and it feels like you're holding a helium balloon in your hand instead of an ice cream cone, watch walk over, and I'm not advocating violence, but punch them in the face. Steaks and ice cream. By the way, I'm also not a guy who feels that like you can't have ice cream and then immediately go eat a steak. You're you're okay with that. I'm 100% okay with that.
Why would I not be okay? Ice cream is delicious. Yeah. Steak is delicious. Now what I don't like to do, what I don't like to do is eat a bunch of ice cream and then pound a liter and a half of seltzer.
What you should do. What you should do is you should drink the seltzer first and then the ice cream. By the way, when you were a child, Kat, were you very upset by this? Did you drink soda growing up? I did.
Okay. Mostly sweet tea though, but some soda. Oh, I hate sweet tea so much. Oh my god. I hate it so much.
Let's not go down that road. I like tea. I like sweet. Remember the first time, Jack, Matt, wait on this. Do you remember the first time you realized that your this is the first time I realized that my mouth was not a perfect predictor, right?
That like what went into my face was conditioned by what had just gone into my face. I remember uh eating a bunch of ice cream. Okay. I was a small child, and then pounding the soda and not not just because my stomach was inflating, but not being refreshed because the soda tasted warm relative to what soda was supposed to taste like because my mouth had been chilled by the ice cream. And I remember intense disappointment.
Like intense disappointment. And I was like, I was like, mom, what the hell? You know what I mean? And she was like, well, if you eat something that's really cold, then the cold but still relatively warm liquids that you're pouring in your mouth won't be as refreshing. And I was just, I was just, and from that point, I just I don't drink after I don't drink liquids after like ice cream for like a couple of minutes.
I need it's it's such a disappointment to not be refreshed. Well, the mistake liquid. That's fine. Yeah, like well, I mean the mistake is to not just make a coke flute. Well, so uh Jack and I were gonna make a drink at the bar.
Let's not talk about it until it's ready. Okay, but then of course, here's what I hate. Every flavor combination has been come come up with by someone at some point, right? Yeah. With the exception of like uh, I don't know, but I won't get into it.
But like uh so Jack and I are gonna do this thing at the bar, and then Bobby's like It's already a thing. It's out of the thing, it's called it's called like uh it's called like a Denver poop shoot. I forget what the heck the name was that he said it was. I don't know, Alabama liquid snake or something. I don't know what it was.
But I was like, I was like, Bobby, you know, on the one hand, it's very you need people like that around you at all times because you don't want to you what you don't want is you don't want a guest to come in and be like, this is just like in like a Denver poop shoot or uh whatever it was because an Alabama state. No, we have improved it. No, but our take on you don't want to be caught unawares. Yeah. You want to know, and this is the problem.
This is why when you're in this business, you shouldn't fall behind too much because if you fall behind, then people can come in, and if if you don't have if you don't have a like a bam back in their face when they give you the poop shoot argument, then they think you're a jamoke. Then they think you're a freaking jamok. Oh boy. Can't be as a jamoke. You can't, you can't.
All right, let me answer an actual freegan question. Can't exist in a minute. And I know we're we're late, but let me wait, Kat, before before we get before Matt kicks us off the air, uh, why are why are you in our studio today? What are you promoting? I just wanted to hang out.
But that's a lie. But uh, we are gonna have this event coming up on April 26th. I just want to hang out, but if you're gonna give me the time, um it's we're doing an agave stuff. You took the time. I'm reclaiming this time.
Um we're having a agave rare agave taste day on April 26th at the end. The agave or the liquid that they make from agave. Agave spirits. It's called So You Think You Know Mezcal. I bet you Jack does quiz him.
I do. I don't know how to quiz you. You know more than me. I'll give you as is uh what are we gonna give her? I'll give you the well, whatever she'd give her a free drinking.
Yeah. All right. Name name the agave variety. Most popular, because I'm sure there's more than five, but name the most popular right now in the bar world, agave variety that grows where the pina grows on a stock. On a stalk.
Stalk. This isn't the one that was that's like on a mountain, right? Ding ding. Is it on a mountain? It's on a mountain.
Oh, I don't I don't know. It's not a big thing. The one that you're thinking of is Tobala. Ding ding. Yeah, I'm not gonna know this.
I'm sorry. Madre Quiche. Madre Quiche. The mother of the Quiche. Is that like what does Madrequish mean anyway?
I believe it means mother of the Quiche. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway. And we have we have a drink with Madriquish on it at uh existing conditions. Well, with that varietal, and it's got the funniest name of any Mezcal.
It's real expensive, real delicious. El Holgoriel. Really fantastic producer of Mezcal's incredible product. Awesome. Drink it.
Um this event is gonna be with um a guy named Lou Bank who goes down and gets like rare agave spirits and brings them back. They're they're ones you can't really get stateside. Um he's gonna have five different ones. Um so come check out that. Will they all be a mezcal or will it be the Satol and Ricea and okay?
He brings a little bit of everything, and we never really know what he's bringing. Um he we just got back from Oaxaca last week. So uh yep, go to our Facebook page for tickets. Ding diling-dilling. Thank you.
Where is this event occurring? At 100 Bogart down the street from the studio. What day of the week is it? It's a Friday. Can you move that?
Um no, but I for just for me. But do you do you want Lou to come by the bar and hang out with you guys? Yes. Okay, great. I'll I'll set that up with you.
And also, I thought we were gonna get Schroeder on this freaking show to talk about it. He's coming in two weeks. Okay. Yep. And maybe Lou will come too, because they're gonna be here at the same time.
They went to Oaxaca together. Oh, really? Let's get them here. Fight! Uh I am calling it now.
I will be here for that episode. Yay! Can you be the guy who stayed? What's that guy's name who stands in the back and says, get over here? Scorpion?
Is that his name? The Mortal Kombat character. Get over here! Scorpion. Yeah.
You can be that guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're gonna have them fight? Well, he would I would be fighting if they're on a team, so yeah. Okay.
Well, wait, wait, wait. So, so in Tekken, what's the name of the person who says Hayachi Mishima wins? That's a note. It's like an announcement. It's just the announcer.
I love that guy. Yeah, he's great. He's good. You don't like Tekken, though. I sound like it's not my favorite fighting game.
What's your favorite? I have no idea what you're talking about. Can we put those Jack the Scorpion Tram? The Scorpion or the Nail? No, we can't because I already wrote the nail on social media.
Get over here. That's pretty good. Matt, what's your favorite fighting game? Uh I and why is it Street Fighter? I I didn't play very many spot.
I was a shooter guy. Oh. House of the Dead. Now you're creeping me out. You're not willing to go and punch someone in the face.
You have to shoot him from far away? Correct. Weak. Weak. Can't even throw a fireball.
Marcel called uh Prudent and said, I try making an aeoli with gar Marcel, you probably don't speak this way. Uh I tried making an aeoli with wild garlic tops. Basically, they look like chives. You know, when I was a kid, and I hear some of these are poisonous, I used to run around and rip up the tall grass that smells like onions, and I would chew on that stuff. No, it's because I'm stupid.
Okay. Uh but it's not green enough or strong enough in flavor. I'm worried I lost flavor when I blanched them. Uh what is the best way to make uh an ioli with them that will be very garlicky and green while emulsifying the chives into the uh I guess chive like chivalikes uh into the ioli prevent oxidation on its own right, or do I need to blanch or blend alcohol? First of all, most of these uh kind of green garlicky things, they're gonna stay green whether you blanch them or not.
I would not blanch them. If you blanch them, you are uh nuking the so look. Look, look, look. When you're date when you're taking uh an allium, right, and you are uh and you they don't develop any flavor until they's cut, right? They develop no flavor until they's cut, because it's an enzymatic reaction, right?
Which is why anyone who takes an actual kind of chive and then gives you long like sticks of it, like they're freaking toothpicks, not only are they committing a crime against your teeth and texture, but they're also not producing enough flavor out of the chive. This is why God wants you to take the chives and cut them into very thin tiny little discs. And he they you're supposed to do a good job of it, not have a wet knife, not have a wet freaking board, and not make a pasty freaking mess of your chives. This is what this is this is the reason that chives evolved for you to do that to them. Stop committing tooth crimes.
Yes, uh anyway. So then what happens is is that it's the cutting into the tiny discs that's actually making the flavor that we associate with those chives. So by by blanching them whole, you are not allowing that flavor to develop. Now, there is some research that if you blanch them, blend them, and then add raw allium to it that contains its own enzyme, let's say, I don't know, white onion, right? That the enzymes that are in the white onion will bloom the precursor flavors that are in the blanched chive and bring it back.
So one solution, if you're actually having it not be uh, if it's actually turning on you color-wise, would be to blanch them and then blend them with raw white onion. And then that should bang, like bloom that stuff out. Maybe not to its hundred percent where it would be before, but it's still gonna bloom it out. The other thing is I would just try raw. How long are you trying to keep this stuff?
Like, you're trying to keep it for the rest of your natural life, or you're just trying to keep it for a day or two. In my uh experience, like the green in that stuff's not gonna go bad as fast as let's say mint or or you know, mint's the worst. I mean, mint tastes great. Like mint is one of those things that like that mint's one of those things that just sits there in the corner and taunts you the same way that lime does. You know what I mean?
Trying to keep lime, trying to keep mint. You know what I'm saying? Do you use mint at existing conditions? Right now? Yeah.
Or in life? In life, like would you? So Jack and I, for years, Jack and I have been uh making as a one-off the world's greatest grasshopper. Oh, it's so good. And then Oh no, we've said this on the air.
Oh, I'm not gonna tell people how we do it yet. Not until we have it on. No, but they're gonna come and ask for it now. No, but the point is is that. Guys, don't bother Jack.
Point is, point is, and and Bobby, Bobby Murphy, has brought in what's the name of that new vodka that tastes like chocolate, but it's made from rye. Oh, it's the the it's a single malt vodka from where's it from? I thought it was from rye. I thought it was made out of rye. It's barley?
Whatever. The whole thing is. Stuff tastes like chocolate. It's good. It's very good.
So point being that like we have the technology, not just the technology, the skill and the palate to make like honestly, like I would actually drink it. Now, to get me to drink a bunch of creamy drinks, like you have to give me some drugs or something, like I just don't order that. I like that's not the style of drink that I order when I'm ordering drinks. But this grasshopper is banana lemon dang dong. It's so good.
But why have we never put it on the menu? Is it just because we are bad people? The combination of nitro muddle and cream is uh don't tell people how to do it. They don't know yet. As soon as we have it, we will We also have to source uh high quality grating chocolate that doesn't exist at the bar right now.
So we can't make it. We cannot make this high quality grating chocolate, aka Valrona. Is the mint like fresh are you using fresh mint to garnish or is it against it? Come on, man. You know we don't garnish.
Please. Nitro muddle. Nitro mudd. Okay. As I say as I as I say to my children on the regular slap yourself.
Because I'm not gonna hit them. You know what I mean? Am I allowed to say that? Did we answer Sid's barbecue question last week, Jack? There's there's another caller on the area.
All right, one more caller and then we'll get ripped off. Then someone, hey, Sid, I can't remember whether I answered your question. Tell Nastasia that I need to answer it. Same goes with Isabel in Vancouver with uh the Canadian Italian cocktails. Did we answer that one last week?
Yes. Okay. Uh all right. What's the call? We'll take this last caller and then uh Matt's gonna rip us off the airwaves here.
Hey, how are you doing, Dave? All right, what's up? Uh quick question. Last week, uh, you and Jack were both on, and uh Lemoncello came up, and you guys kind of made a face. Yeah, yeah.
Uh so I was curious what could you see? How could you see? I have questions. Where are you? Can you see through sound?
Uh an audible face, if you will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, fair. Yeah, I don't like it. Full stop.
Fair? Fair. I I hear you. It just seemed like you had had some particular beef. And on that note, uh, for your celebrity alcohol tasting, uh Danny DeVito has his own brand of Limoncello.
I will get him in here. Look, it's not that I think it's Jack, do you like limoncello? I have had examples that are fine. I look, I just it's just look, look, look, look, look. Here, here, here it is.
What's good about lemons? Acid. You know what lemoncello doesn't have? Acid. Yeah, yeah.
Look at look, it it it it tastes a bit like detergent to me. Like very, very sweet detergent. Yeah. Now, I uh uh it's not flawed. It tastes exactly like it's supposed to taste.
It's just in general, that's not the taste I want. Now, I I did a for Pellini Limoncello, I did a Tales of the Cocktail seminar. That drink was delicious. That drink was delicious because we mounted it with salty preserved lemon and made uh one of the best beverages of all time. Correct.
So the the issue is is that if I want that lemony flavor, see, the people who make lemoncello, here's what they wake up with. I have this neutral grain spirit, and I got so many lemons. What am I gonna do? I don't have this issue, right? So, like, I'm gonna pay someone who's got a surfeat of lemons to make a very sweet thing.
Whereas if I want a lemon flavor at the bar, I own lemon peels, I will use them. Yeah, I own lemon juice, I can use it. I have lemon cordial, I can use it. I have all kind of alcohol. The best lemon cello I ever had.
My mom has a Meyer Lemon tree in her backyard, and too many lemons. Made lemoncello delicious. There you go. The reason for lemoncello is you own too many lemons. I got too many lemons.
Yeah, but I mean, at the you know, at the bar. We need those lemons. Yeah, but but in other words, like like if you wanted a flavor profile of that was in the lemoncello land, would you get lemoncello, or would you just like make it out of the stuff that we own already? Yeah. Yeah.
Now, Danny DeVito, by the way, Matilda, great movie. Such a good movie. I love that movie. Whatever happened to her, did she ever act in anything else? Matilda, she was so good in that.
Um what about Miss Honey? She ever acting anything else? I don't think so. What about uh the Trunch Bowl? Any of these people ever act anything again, other than uh Rhea Pearlman and and Danny DeVito?
We'll look it up and get back to you. I mean, is there a movie? There are movies that are as good as Matilda, but is there a movie that's like better than Matilda? Arguably no. I mean, it's a great movie.
Yeah. I love that movie. We quote World All Best Children's Author of all time. I hear he was kind of a rancid individual, maybe. Yeah, probably, but his stories were great.
Yeah, yeah, it's true. But uh, we quote Matilda the movie constantly, constantly in the house. Moby, what? Bruce. Bruce.
The whole the whole movie. Great. Anyway, I don't even know how we got on that. Oh, Dave DeVito. So uh he's welcome to come on.
I respect lemon cello as a product. I respect it as having a cultural history. It's just, it's I never mix with it at the bar. It's not the style. But if Danny DeVito's gonna come on, I will tell him I love it.
You know what I'm saying? I hear you. I hear you. Thanks for your take, Dave. Yeah, yeah, cool.
Hot take. That was a hot take. What is it? I think it was a room temperature take. What exactly it was a pretty standard take.
Well, what define for me hot take. I think a hot take is like a quick, like it's quick. It's like reflexive. So it really probably wasn't a hot take. No, a hot take is an unto is an unpopular opinion.
What? But it's one that comes very soon after like news breaks. Now, what is the sandwich a hot brown? It's what? Unrelated.
Gravy. Uh open faced. It's like a well Welsh rare bit sandwich. Ooh. Right?
I love Welsh rare bit. Me too. It's good. I like a cheese sauce. I like cheese sauce and toast.
But uh and I like the word I like the word toast point. Any of you out there ever wants to like see me go, ooh. Oh, it's with toast points. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lovely.
Ooh, toast point. Because you never hear that anymore. Anyway, uh I like that a lot more than toast soldier. Give me a soldier. Well, soldier's a different shape.
I know, but like I'm staying, I prefer a point. People out there. Better for dipping. What is your what? The soldier?
No, the point. Oh, the point. I'd argue it's actually not. I just prefer it because point rather than. The thing is, like, you've just given yourself up, Kat, as a dainty date, dainty.
A dainty dipper. You're a dainty dipper. I am a dainty dipper. Because uh like sauce? Love sauce.
First of all. Why are you a dainty dipper? First of all, I know this has probably been gone through endless times, probably on this air and all other airs, but is anyone here against the flip dip? No, that's just good technique. It's not a double dip, it's a flip dip.
Alright, and you're up. It's the other side. Everyone here is okay with flip dip? Very much okay with it. You bite one side, you flip it around, dip it again.
Okay, now let's say the host at your at the party you're at, they buy, as they will because they're bad people. A crappy tortilla chip that's too freaking thin. Some people like thin tortilla chips. They're wrong, right? But it's usually it's all you can buy.
Yeah. And you go to dip it, and the sucker cracks off into the what's the etiquette. I like to try to retrieve it with another fresh chip. That is the correct response. Right.
You're never allowed to go after it with your with your jersey pincers. No offense, Jersey. I lived there for many years. It depends on how much is like sticking out of the sauce. Like if you can like get it easily.
No, you have to excavate no matter what. There you go. Really? Yes. I guess I'm an anti-dipper and I'm very rude at parties.
This is why if you buy low quality chips, I'm looking at you, everyone. Uh it's also good. I know nobody look, someone is gonna sit there and eat those freaking carrots. So just have some of those carrots there because they make fantastic excavation tools. Yeah.
Like celery even better. What? Celery even better. Celery even better. But but I never the am like the amount of times I'll walk up to like uh like a dipping situation, see that bowl of carrots, and be like, you know what?
I'm gonna eat one of them carrots. That happens a lot. I walk up and there's like a thing of celery, I'm like, hey, you got blue cheese? No, goodbye. Goodbye.
Goodbye. You know what I mean? It's like maybe just put a spoon in the dip, a small spoon. Hey, do you know anyone that peels the back of their celery before they put it on their crudite plate? No.
They should! Hello? Who likes to look at someone talking with that string sticking out of their freaking mouth? Look, I haven't had to have a date in in like 20, whatever, five years, 26 years, whatever, since 1990, like one, right? But like, I mean, how unsexy is that to be talking to someone and have a celery string sticking out of your freaking face.
Listen, if you first dates, you could gotta just go for it with food. Because if I can't eat like a whole mackerel or like, you know, some weird dry aged meat or some some strange raw animal out of the ocean, then it's never gonna work. So it's never gonna work. So so uh so someone walks up to Jack and's like, hey, where do you want to go on your first date? He's like, Ribs.
All in. You know, it's like if you don't wanna, if you're not interested in going to K-town and eating lots of small fermented cured little bites of things, then you know. And it really's yeah, it's not gonna work. No, but here's the problem with that, right? It's like I think you'd be you'd be better served saying beforehand, like, we're gonna go on this date, but I'm gonna take you here for this reason, and if you have a problem with that, let's not even go on this dinner date because what the hell?
I still enjoy conversation. Really? With someone who's not eating the food across from you? I will eat the food. I no, I don't like that.
I don't like if I'm with someone and they're like But that's what he says, like, no, but like I I can also be a human. Yeah, you know, I know we're late, but listen to this. So I I think I mentioned last week that Booker decided he's not gonna eat like pork and freaking beef anymore. But Dax. What has he done?
Why? I don't know. But Dax, Dax is like, it's not fair! He doesn't talk like that, but kind of, it's not fair! He's like, Booker can change the way the whole freaking family eats.
And so yesterday, I'm like, Dax, man, like, I'm gonna do, it's gonna be the same as burgers, but I'm gonna do like, I'm gonna do, I didn't fry it because I don't have the freaking time. I was just like, sauteed chicken thighs. You know, they're good. Yeah, it's a good sandwich. Yeah.
And I he cursed a blue streak into my ear about how unfair it was. I was like, Dax, a chicken sandwich is delicious. He's like, but I want a burger! I want a burger. And I was like, Dax, what the hell, man?
You did just say out loud, it's the same as burgers. No, well, which is fundamental. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like if you say chicken sandwiches are for dinner. Good snag, good snag.
Yeah. What I meant was I'm going to, other than the patty, I'm going to give you all of the same fixings. So for Dax, he will still have bacon. There will be cheese. There will be tomatoes and lettuce and buns.
So in other words, all I'm doing is. And then Dax had the freaking stones. Get this, people. He said. He takes after his father.
He said to me, Dad. And I don't know how the hell this got into my freezer. But he said, Dad, there are tur turkey burgers in the freezer. And Booker can have one of those and I'll have a hamburger. And I was like, I will not cook a turkey burger in my house.
Right? They are, they are the biggest enemies of quality, perhaps in the world, second only to pre-made freaking salmon burgers. I will not cook a salmon burger in my house. Now why? Because they are terrible.
Yeah, it's a garbage front. If you were to low temp a turkey burger and then sear it off, maybe you could make a good turkey burger. But turkey is too low in fat anyway, especially the garbage breast meat and stuff that they grind up with no fat in it. And nobody wants a pink inside in their freaking turkey burger. So they all hockey puck those suckers.
And they're the worst, driest, crappiest textured nightmares of a freaking sandwich on the earth. I will not allow it into my house. I don't know who bought it or why it's in my freezer. Ditto on salmon, and salmon has the even worse property that if some other idiot makes it for you, they ground it a billion years ago and it is oxidized until the end of the earth is come, so you're eating an overcooked, dry, probably improperly spiced, crappy, oxidized, rancid, dry salmon burger. Now, if you're gonna chop your own salmon real fresh, make it into a patty, not put some god they also bind it with like god-awful amounts of bread crumb and eggs and stuff.
It's just a it's just bad. Seafood sausage, good. Made with salmon, emulsified seafood sausage with a with a mousse canels. If you want to make a like a salmon canel, poach that mother off and put it on a bun, you have just won the salmon burger Olympics. But how do you feel about a crab cake on a bun?
I'm sure that would taste good. That's not a burger because it's real real bready. So don't get mad at me. I know that I don't care how good you are at making crab cakes, you put some freaking filler in those bad crabs. Yeah, yeah.
It's not gonna stay together. Yeah. Uh, I think we're gonna have to go. But I can Dave, can you give us an update on uh the turkey burgers next week? Uh well, I'm gonna go home and throw them out.
The update is they are in the trash. I mean, I I feel bad throwing them out, and I'm sure that someone at my house at some point will cook them, but it makes me cry that that is in my house, that that my family's money has gone to support the idea that turkey burgers are a valid, a valid thing to do when by the way, you can just buy chicken or turkey thighs and make a delicious sandwich with them, and nobody feels with it with a with a with a whole thigh piece, right? You can cook it and still maintain a nice texture, but it's just a true fact that everyone will force you to viciously overcook any sort of ground poultry. It's just God's truth. They're gonna make you do it, and then they will sit there and they will spray an entire bottle of what?
Heinz. Heinz. Heinz. Ketchup on it, right? To try to make it be okay, and they will say, it's they will say, but it's good, I like it.
And then you have the problem of not only knowing that the person across from you is eating something terrible that you've cooked. So you've cooked something you know is bad and they're eating it, but then they smack you in the face by saying that the product of you, your genetic lineage has such a low understanding of food that they think that what they're eating is good. So you get smacked in the face two times. Biggest mistake people make. Thinking something is good because they like it.
True. If someone says, I like this, but it's garbage, I'm like, you know what? Fair. That that's a that is a wonderful opinion. You can't argue with that.
You can't argue with it. Can't this is trash. I like it. Yeah. Then, you know, like like my man Jack, he likes sweetened rumps.
I'm not gonna get into it, he's gonna punch me in the face afterwards. Anyway, uh, this has been the extended version of Cooking Issues. Thanks for listening to Heritage Radio Network, food radio supported by you. For our freshest content and to learn more about our 10-year anniversary celebration happening all year long. Subscribe to our newsletter.
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